Get HIGH Edmond 1978-84

 

Want a playlist full of corporate rock and pop this is your soundtrack….

Does the beat go on, really?

LIFE can be a Real DRAG!

  “One Handsome BOW?”

After 5 weeks of hell not me, but my partner David we are both finally in our own home but he is 50/50. We have home health care with an RN, LPN, and PT/OT. He had to go to the Emergency room again yesterday due to dehydration. He doesn't like the taste of water and basically he has to start liking it or he can kiss his bladder goodbye and even being melodramatic could die if he doesn't begin to fight and try. It has been tough on him but for a caregiver it can be just as draining and hell. I have seen this many times with friends before and it doesn't always have to be AIDS but any illness with a serious side to it. Loved ones who are sick have a tendency of pushing and pushing to the point of wanting a knock out fight to have ME or YOU the caregiver to say basically "Blank Blank and Blankety Blank" with the hopes you will go away but also deep down they want to see if you will come back. Don't ask me why people who are fighting something life threatening or terminal feel the need to play these games but in my 25plus years living, breathing, fighting, working, crying, laughing, and most of all living with HIV/AIDS I know the road ahead will not be easy and support from JC, Family, and friends like those of you here on Face book with whom I have either reconnected with from the past or as I have said before have met on my OUT of the Closet tour Circa 1980's up until today. Wait let me check to see if I woke up straight......NOPE still gay. I really have to say Thank you for listening to my ramblings in the beginning of this adventure and even though I started to disappear it came to my attention it was impossible to share emotions which at one point I actually was numb and had none. But I am re-energized and spent the night playing with my drag and another hobby of mine Photography. Or Tech Art Photography. I will post some of my work for you to see but all it takes is some makeup, lighting, camera (video or Camera) along with many a program to tweak my creations. I do hope to get the nerve up to start posting video blogs or Vlogs on Face-book for it is so much easier than typing. Well, enjoy or destroy my drag profile pic for the weekend while I work on my summer 09 FB profile pic. Take CARE and God B

Gay Pride 2007

Get ready cause I am going to tell it like I do every year I live with this disease. Okay there are many many social networking sites popping up one after another.  I really would like to start a bit of a how do you say "a network of in your face, toilet face kind of people".  Well them there is fighting words but there are two social networking sites with this web 2.0 craze and with my wisdom or uh long term survivor of 24 plus years if you will would like to make having this damn disease fun again.  Remember the days of should I tell or should I keep quiet, or taking AZT back when it first came out and popped them with whatever PILL dujour was of the evening.  Ecstasy, coke, or GHB those were fun times.  But now I am still alive and in gay years should be appearing on a smuckers jam jar on the today show rather soon.   So I started these two clubs/networks/gatherings/or maybe a little shock publicity if you will, Tina no I didn't mean it...just basically called Ask the Gay with Full Blown AIDS, he-mans women haters club.  No just kidding on the he-mans thing didn't you love those little rascals?  Okay I am getting off on a tangent.  My point is I am not any better than any other long termed or more knowledgeable either all I am saying is I started these online support groups ala circa AOL 2.0 1994 way back in the day when I was more than a contender I was some-BODY and I do mean BODY.  I am also very humble and would use to share my story with anyone who had a camera and a contract or if I was so HIGH I could keep the New York Christmas tree lit just from my teeth grinding the friction alone.oh dear tangent sorry. 

  I would love to meet other sarcastic, dark humor, dry or quick witted and maybe a dash of evil but only enough to make us laugh without the so called object of our rejection ever knowing and the reason why I would allow it is because deep down we all know those people and we all have their numbers to put it mildly and they are most likely talking about us anyway.  So does two wrongs make a right, gossip or perpetuating the catty queen behavior so many of us negative and positive still try so hard to distance ourselves from. I don't buy it and find it insulting to our forefathers, sisters and skins to erase our "HER"itage as gay men. Please I do not want to lead on I am forgetting or addressing the rest of our community such as Lesbian, Bisexuals, and Tran gendered in this discussion but it is GLBT and Gay was put first so I am sorry about the order of who is more important but I didn't write the write the constitution so don't blame me write to your cable operator and start a expedition so your voice or vote will be counted and heard too and you may see change in your lifetime.  I doubt it but keep up the good fight because no one cause is more important than mine and learning how to MILK and mingle is hard to master but I know there has to be a few of you left out there in the big world wide web who is still struggling to survive hanging on with not a t cell to spare, you know who you are and I am the HIV/AIDS Internet community crier, but I am literally crying. 

And frankly I like the word fag but I was out of town and missed that vote but I can live with gay. So beyond ignorant just thinking of the many gorgeous men I had encountered in many aspects meaning encounter could be easily replaced with whatever word you could dream up, my point being those pretty boyz who would get pinched if you were having fun laughing out loud and refer to them as GIRL, go get mama a drink.  Well you would think the world had just come to an end, I am not your girl I am a guy thank you.  uggghhhhh barf whatever and I suppose everybody who is shirtless and dancing the night away with sweat glistening off their nipple but their nose has not a bit of shine, powdered down to perfection.  In many cases powdered down in more ways than one.

  Oh and one more thing these are the type of gay men who only do drag on Halloween but their costumes are planned a year ahead of time and they usually start shopping in the early spring.  Plus have you ever noticed there is always a pair of size 12 pump placed so it is not seen, but not so hidden it can't be busted out one evening when she is feeling pretty.   Halloween but their costumes are planned a year ahead of time and they usually start shopping in the early spring.  Plus have you ever noticed there is always a pair of size 12 pump placed so it is not seen, but not so hidden it can't be busted out one evening when she is feeling pretty.  Okay now with this vivid description out of the way

 Okay now with this vivid description out of the way it is important to understand why I mentioned looking for others with a little bit of catty and a dash of evil just enough to be able to laugh at someone else's faux pas at the cost of complete humiliation.  But it has been my experience, training, and most of all survival skills taught by situations of Vile and terror only to be clocked or read by the nearest drag queen or a pre op transsexual incognito there to read my beads and put me in my place.  What the hell does this all mean, I am alive

For a couple of damn good reasons and one of them is a sense of humor, though a bit dark, misunderstood, rude, judgmental, insecure, and the typical Miss Thing behavior we all have tried in vain to run away from, but deep down we love it and if you don’t love it your lying or you are no good at it.  Good at what you ask?  Well if you have to ask then you will never be good at it.  Sure we all are born with gaydar and our lesbian sisters know their way around power tools if everyone would just stop, think for a frickin minute before sputtering out drunk, sober, or otherwise something stupid and/or politically charged by resorting to the same old basic middle school labels and parent taught stereotypes who would we have to laugh at?  I mean I own the word FAG and I take the power out of this hate language and use it to refer to friends as a term of endearment to my “homie-sexuals” We are living in a time when words hurt and that saddens me.  

  If you are flying in the gay world solo not having the tools of being able to protect yourself with a quick witted comeback or the reading of someone’s beads back at em if they dare try it on you.  Okay so you are not good at playing stupid little name calling games or reading someone’s “beads” by clocking and calling them out on a bad fashion mistake when it wouldn’t have made a difference. 

  OMG a tear the finale of The Real World Denver and Brookes final confessional has made me rethink this whole short story essay, application, shout out, blog post whatever it is I can honestly say just like Brooke said I feel alive, I didn’t when I started this adventure but I feel alive now.  So on that note and rude thought interruption we will refocus back to my story that is by far more important and a whole complete life lesson worth of knowledge.

  Where was I oh yeah it wouldn’t have made a difference it was already way too late for your friend to change.  Okay so your best friend visiting from back home is wearing and working this trendy neon green button down shirt which looks faboo on his oh so buff, tall, masculine frame, some brand new jeans etc.  However as hot as he looked and he knew it too just happened to be in every setting is it mood lighting, or a quick stop at the stink pot fluorescent lighting gas station?  Hi how are you here, hey what’s up nice to meet you there all just made me sick…so fake you think your friend is just a little to cute for his own words.  So just say for example this best girlfriend is taking you out to a new hot bar he has been too and knows it has nothing but black lighting.  So you are not just noticed you are seen for at least a mile and half, hell you could land planes you are a walking living breathing glow stick.  True story, so embarrassing and humiliating for him I can still remember him begging me to go somewhere else but I couldn’t the night was planned weeks in advance unlike his obvious outfit disaster. I was treating one of my back home girlfriends to a night out in the one and only West Hollywood.  Well she was taller than me and had less body fat and it wasn’t like I slept with her boyfriend on their 4-week anniversary, I at least waited until the next day. Duh I am not so evil I would make someone cry just for a laugh at their expense, well maybe an uncomfortable pause or embarrassed face on the verge of crying but just a whimper isn’t so bad.  Now if he was to bust out in a full spray of unadulterated tear fests then at this point I have no other choice but to write her off right then and there severe all ties and act as if I have no idea who this person is.  I mean I do have a reputation to protect.  Years of crawling and scraping my way through my sugar daddy’s wallet did not come as easy as I had hoped and was taught in daddy’s money 101 by my drag mother a pre op transsexual named Mindy, ah hell it is all in the book.  

  Well to sum it up in the early to mid 90’s I resided and ruled the world of WeHO’s OZ for almost 3 full terms because as you most likely know 15 minutes is all anyone gets to reign supreme in LA’s world gay world of the Circuit.I was blessed those memorable early youthful years doing charity work for International Male/Playgirl centerfold/Men’s workout oh please all those tired but important quest items are needed if you are questing for this particular title/goal I was working so hard for.  The ability to be talked about in front of my face but most of all the coveted talking behind my back is double the points of brilliance because good or bad you are so important all press is better than no press at all.  Yeah I coined the phrase just like Janice Dickinson was the first supermodel of the world. So moonlighting as a Go Go boy to put myself through beauty school to make something of my life before I got too old I mean I was already pushing 25 and having HIV at this point for almost 10 years I was working it like nobody else should.

    The point of this monologue, prayer, mantra, whatever is if you are going to be a Crybaby Crenshaw you need to grow up get a life so I can make fun of it laughing out loud and thinking to myself you may be taller and have a little less body fat but my AIDS has way more I mean a butt load, no pun intended more t cells than you buster so just remember no matter how hard you try my immune system is 10 times stronger than yours.  Wimps, wannabee’s need not apply and btw don’t be surprised if this story is basically posted on every site you see this is one of those posts.  My thesis, my drama, my junk for the week filled with love and sharing bubbles of health and bullshit. I am hungry bye

  

 

 

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ThomPoz Wins along with a backstory

This handle ThomPoz has been with me since the beginning of time. When I jumped onto the early Internet bandwagon back in 1994 with AOL 1.5 ThomPoz is what I chose and though I would have liked my infamous name Thom Collins to be available, this handle in a way is more recognizable to the HIV/AIDS both HIV+ and HIV-.
The early days on AOL before the Internet/AOL was even close to breaking into mainstream America I will forever hold dear one of many self created HIV/AIDS support group meetings online giving me the opportunity to meet so many individuals creating long lasting contacts and friendships through this new medium called a "ONLINE Community". AOL was pivotal in working with me to help spread the word on dates and times, (sorry no pun intended) so as to get as many people from all walks of life help, education, answers, and support needed when at the time still was in many ways looked as only a gay issue.
I really feel the anonymity the Internet gives it's users really helped many people who would never seek help or ask questions otherwise. So for a period of time this "invisible shield" if you will helped break new ground in ways of an individual feeling safe and secure, however as good as this all sounds going on 10+ years later many, actually more than half have died from the disease a 1/4 lost contact with over the years due to my own battles with this disease and the few left over have been kind enough to keep sending well wishes to me every now and then.
I have been blessed in many ways, those days I speak of are one of them and will always be cherished.
God Bless,
Thom Collins